Amazing Grace

What an experience it is to attend a Women of Faith Conference, especially when God leads the way.

 

My sister called me a week before the conference and asked me if I’d like to go. I said yes I would, but I could not afford it. She asked if I had money to pay for my own food, I said yes I could afford that. She said pack your bags and plan on going.

 

I started asking myself what it was going to be like, Was, I going to be okay around a group of women I didn’t know? I figured they were friends of my sisters so they had to be pretty nice. But most of all I just wanted to be able to have a weekend with my sister. I can not express the gratitude I feel.

 

That whole week I prayed and asked God to give me the peace in my heart that I once felt.

 

God held me in His arms the whole weekend, as one speaker after another shared there stories and opened my eyes to things I had suppressed and decided I had not wanted to look at in my life.

 

I don’t know if you are familiar with David Pelzer and the books he wrote. “A Child Called It”, “The Lost Boy”, and “A Man Named David”, but I grew up as the female version of his story. Over the years God has helped me remove layers of unbelievable things. Things that some people are amazed could ever happen to a child. My friends can’t believe that I turned out “okay”. I give all the credit to my loving Abba Father. (Isaiah 49: 15 – 16 Can a woman forget her nursing child, And have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you. “Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands… )  I’ve found myself cradled in God’s hands while I’ve gone through the process of forgiving people that have hurt me. But there was always one thing that I held on to. Because it was just so awful, I felt I didn’t need to forgive her. After all God would surely see to it that she paid for what she did.

 

Once Sandi Patty got up and shared her story, I knew what I was there for, peace, and God showed me just how to get it. How amazing is that.

 

I’ve known of Sandi for many years. My children grew up listening to her “Friendship Company” songs and I’ve seen her in concert several times. But never have I felt such a connection to her as I did at the Women of Faith Conference. As she poured out her story, I felt God tugging at my heart. It was the first time I had ever heard of another person who experienced the same thing I did. But Sandi hit a home run when she gave specific ages. When she said, there are women out there, who experienced the same thing when they were 10, 13 and even 4, I knew at that very moment God put me there so I could be freed from that overwhelming burden. After all how many people experienced it at those very ages. As I sat there crying, I started thinking now what do I do. Sure enough, out comes Louise DuArt and shares her story. As Louise tells her story she talks about forgiveness. I’m sitting there thinking to myself, right! But when God gives you a clear message how can you argue with it.

 

On the way home everyone was sharing what they got out of the conference. I sat there so nervous because there was no way I could tell these women that I barely knew what happened to me. After all, my sister didn’t even know my story because we didn’t grow up together. When it was my turn I got up enough courage and let them know that I was really touched by Sandi’s story and that God had really showed me that I still have some healing to go through. My sister said, “Oh yeah, I guess we’re going to have a late night talking”, and we did.

 

We talked for hours. She reminded me that when God tells us to do something we need to be obedient. Although I knew this I really didn’t want to hear it. I was raging my own war inside my head, trying to convince myself I didn’t really need to forgive.

 

After I got home and spent a few days in turmoil, I called my sister and asked her to pray for me. I told her my heart was willing but my mind was not. I told her I realized I couldn’t forgive on my own and that I had been praying for God to help me be able to forgive. She reminded me that the Bible says in (2 Cor. 10: 3 – 6 … even though we walk in the flesh we do not war according to the flesh.) And that Satan has a way of attacking us through our thoughts, telling us that it’s okay not to forgive because it was so bad. Then I remembered one of my favorite verses, (Think upon these things, whatever is true, … honorable, …right, …pure, …lovely, … let your mind dwell on these. Eph 4: 8).

 

Right then and there I knew everything was going to be okay again. As I process all that has happened in the last two weeks I just want to say THANK YOU for being willing to share your stories. Especially Sandi Patty, God’s grace is amazing.

 

Philippians 2: 1- 4

If therefore there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion,  make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.  Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself;  do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

 

Shari